Upload your sonnet under the discussion tab. Then, using the Discussion tab for each respective sonnet, respond to four of your classmates' sonnets with a positive comment (be detailed and specific about what works) and one comment about what the poet can do better.

Be "professional" and positive and specific.

Only four comments allowed for each sonnet. If there are four already, then find another sonnet to comment on.

This is the kind of commenting I'd like you to do. How can you improve the comments?

<<
“A River of Dreams”

The dark water remains untouched and clear
Yet the banks are full of short nerves and fear.
Three hundred thousand people soon arrive,
To watch this race of champs soon come alive.

As storms move in to dampen rowers’ hearts
Boats are put together in small, wet parts
Soaked to the bone, they leave the dock with pride,
To row up to the start and great north side.

At the start they think of the goal ahead.
To finish in the middle of the head.
The start comes up and soon the boat is on,
But soon the fast boats afar come upon.

In the end the rowers failed in their goal,
Coming close to last and loosing their soul.


First, YES. it is all true. nice job.

The first stanza creates a very clear image of a dark, solemn area, with very many people who are all feeling an identical rush of adrenaline. Here is the most powerful scene, I think.

The second stanza has a more emotional attachment as the reader feels the rain, and the passion, and the wind of a imminent storm.

The third stanza begins to introduce the couplet at the end and foreshadows the turning of events with "but the fast boats afar come upon".

The rhyming couplet was EXCEPTIONALLY depressing after having experienced that this weekend. However, it was also very strong in depicting the drastic alteration in emotion and pride.>>


Doc